Concept of Self

Hey, it's been a while. We've taken some time off from one another. Gone in different directions. You've been traveling through cyberspace; I've been watching reruns on the Discovery channel. But, no matter how hard we may try, our bond is unbreakable, our relationship is magnetic. Why? Because I find it oddly essential that there is some record of the unrelated, disconnected ideas that exist in my head.

I have this worry that someday, in a not-so-distant future, someone will read this and proclaim: "Yep, she was nuts. And here's the proof."

Actually, perhaps "worry" isn't the right feeling. I think it's more of a concept of sheer inevitability. However, on the other side of things, there is a question that has been wandering about my mind for a while. If a person believes they are crazy, are they actually crazy? Or rather, aren't the craziest people in the world the ones who believe they are, in fact, completely sane?

Therefore, it is a logical and evidence-based conclusion that I am quite sane. You, my friends, are crazy. Sorry to break the news.

-M

Darwin Would Be Disappointed.

Being at a small liberal arts college, I sometimes run into people who are incredibly booksmart, get great grades, and don't have to work at it. Then I get to know them. It takes everything in me not to shout the following:

If we lived in a society that didn't cater to your every need, you wouldn't make it. You would walk around in circles. You would flail about without a clue. You would probably die. You are as dumb as a rock.

Stop complaining about getting an A- on your paper.

-M

Happiness is...

1. Desperately needing a calculator, and finding it packed.

2. Sitting in a comfy chair after a long week of exams.

3. Listening to a ticking clock and having nowhere to be.

4. Banana nut bread.

5. Riding a bicycle in a downpour in jeans and a t-shirt.

6. Watching drivers pass with a bewildered look on their face.

7. Making it through another day.

-M

Attention Span

Something that I have been aware of for quite sometime, but not given much thought to, is that I have a relatively short attention span. It could be compared to that of a very small insect, say an ant. Actually, I take that back. Apparently a colony of leaf cutter ants, aided by their use of pheromones and genetically ingrained behavior, are able to take down a tree in under twenty-four hours. That's dedication. A better example would be a squirrel, which apparently can stay on task for a whopping four minutes.

If there is any truth behind wiki.answers, then it is settled. I have a slightly longer attention span than that of a small, tree-dwelling rodent. My point? There's room for improvement.

-M

Overheard at Puget Sound

Third floor math lounge: Enter Nerd #1, dismay plastered across his face. Nerd #2 is sitting at a desk, patting his head and tapping his toes to some imagined tune.

Nerd #1: There are so many classes that I want to take here.
Nerd #2: Dude, that's not really a big problem. What are you interested in?
Nerd #1: Math, physics, and philosophy.
Nerd #2: So you want to take classes in math, physics, and philosophy?
Nerd #1: Right.
Nerd #2: And you can't do this because...?
Nerd #1: It's not like I can triple major!

All of a sudden double majoring in biology and exercise science doesn't seem quite as bad.

-M

How It Works

Another spring break, another week of coughing, congestion, and speaking a good octave lower than usual. So I have a cold during my time off, did I expect anything less? No. The truth, for me, and for anyone else who has ever experienced the transition of going from stressed to relaxed in under twenty-four hours, is that we will get sick. It's our body's way of saying, "Whoa. Dude. You need to chill out, like take a break man, just feel the flow of the universe..." Okay, so my body doesn't talk like a stoned surfer who has been knocked in the head a few too many times (although I wouldn't be completely against it, for the sheer amount of entertainment).

But I can't complain. I've spent the past several days lounging around in boxers and a t-shirt, watching zombie flicks, and playing with my dog. And for the first time, I'm not dreading going back to school. Maybe I've had too much Sudafed or maybe I'm starting to get back in the swing of things. I've got plans for the rest of the semester, some realistic, others not so much, but I'm looking forward to seeing how the term plays out.

But hey, Summer, it's totally cool if you arrive sooner rather than later. Seriously. No problem at all.

-M

My Own Oxford English Dictonary

So, I've been in Washington for a little over a month now, though it seems to have gone by quite slowly so far. This is neither good nor bad, I am merely noting that I have no perception of time. What I have noticed, back in the college life, is that it's difficult to balance being a student and a human being at the same time. I suppose I should give the specific definitions for this context.

Student, (noun), [stood-ent]: one who studies; an academically responsible and motivated individual who seeks to reach their potential for learning and retaining knowledge, regardless of its level of pertinence outside of an educational environment.

Human Being, (noun), [human-being]: one who has a life; a regularly responsible and motivated individual who finds time for the essentials; includes eating, exercising, sleeping, socializing, and participating in general day to day activities.

Somehow, regardless of my location, I have yet to figure out a nice way in which to manage my priorities. In other words, what I have to do versus what I want to do. So far, what I do know is that focusing on one will have some sort of impact on the other, and that regardless of what I choose, I will not have time for a nap. And if you have read this blog on a previous occasion, you know that I take my napping skills seriously.

Today, I got up at eight o'clock. I then realized it was eight o'clock and went back to bed until ten minutes before my biology class was scheduled to begin at ten o'clock. I attended biology and religion, and after a nice hour-long break (used to update my blog, did I mention my inability to balance priorities? Oh, hey lunch! Sorry, I forgot to call...) it's now off to calculus. Done with classes at two, I will then try to come up with some sort of plan to include lunch, writing a five page essay, intramural soccer, some more calculus, dinner, and going to bed at a reasonable hour.

Outside looking in, I can only say, "Good luck."

-M

PS: Next post will be less of a grumble.

Spontaneous Responsibility

After living at home for six months, one would think that I would be ready to go back out into the world and live it up, so to speak. False. Starting the fourth week of my sophomore career, I can only look back at the days when I woke up feeling rested, relaxed, and free to do anything or nothing.

Usually it was nothing. I might be kind of lazy like that. Get out for a walk? But what about the four hours it takes for one football game to come to an end? Go shopping for a new pair of shoes that my feet so desperately crave? But it's a perfect time for an afternoon nap. Grab dinner at a little French bistro? But there are waffles in the freezer and I'm running around the house in a t-shirt and Snoopy boxers.

Now, instead of having a schedule that included fourteen hours of sleep a night and the occasional soccer game, I suddenly have to act like a normal person again, going to classes, studying, socializing, eating only when absolutely necessary, et cetera. I have a fortune cookie slip tacked to my bulletin board that says, "Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time." For now, I'm going to have to disagree. Time is more precious here, sorry fortune cookie guru. Those two hours you just spent reading an article for world religions? Yeah, actually you need those back to prepare for your calculus exam. Half an hour for lunch? Try ten minutes with your laptop in the cafeteria to continue your train of thought in that essay. Power nap? In your dreams. Or not, you're not sleeping anyways.

In the short four weeks I've been on campus, I have already been to health-related services an equal four times. I swear, I think I'm allergic to college. But hey, I like it here, so I'm stocked up on caffeine and Claritin, and will be off to the next thing. After I finish the current one.

-M

Oh, Hey College.

Having never previously been on, or even near campus, the University of Puget Sound looks pretty much as I expected. Granted they did have a virtual tour online, so I may have cheated a little. Brick buildings, paved paths, greenery, stereotypical college layout. It's quite beautiful actually, and adding to that beauty was the sound of droplets of water hitting the foliage. As my father noted, I tend to move in on rainy days.

In Boston, it happened to be one of those random storms that come out of nowhere, near the end of August as if to say, "Summer is over... NOW!" If I knew how to express a maniacal laugh in writing, it would have been included. But now we're in Tacoma, WA. So yes, if the rumors are true, the chance of carting my stuff from car to room whilst it rains is, in fact, quite high.

It's quiet on campus right now, without classes until Tuesday. Some people have been trickling in over the weekend. Occasional screams emanate through the hallways, but that's about all the activity I have experienced. Tomorrow, I suspect will be a change in pace. Most likely, a mass of panicked students will arrive to the realization that not only is winter break over, but they have classes in twelve hours and have yet to purchase textbooks. Envisioning a mad rush to the bookstore, I picked up my books (which without exaggeration weigh at least thirty pounds), so now I'm a little more relaxed.

At this point, anything that induces temporary relaxation is sought out. I'm currently encountering the emotional limbo of "old hermit afraid to leave cave" and "young adult in exciting new environment". It's quite confusing. Sleep, on the other hand, is not confusing. I am tired, therefore I nap.

-M

First Date

I consider the idea of starting and sustaining a blog to be somewhat like going on a blind date. You don't really know what you've gotten yourself into, but your friend says you don't get out enough and is certain you'll have a great time. And hey, even if it doesn't work out, at least you got a free meal at some fancy restaurant.

So, hi. I'm Martha. We may be beginning a beautiful relationship, where I type and you record, or there's the possibility that we crash and burn. Don't worry, I promise that under no circumstances will I ever break up with you by text message. But I won't get too ahead of myself. It's just our first date, and even though I don't know you all that well, I think you're kind of cute. So what do you say, shoot me a message on Facebook and we'll see about that cup of coffee.

-M